xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
