Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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