he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize