you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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