Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You are a genius and a whore.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
