Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
