What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
