yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
