life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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