nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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