hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
