If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
