So drunk its hurt
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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