He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize