First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
