I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize