I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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