remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
