jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
