tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Drunk is not a location!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
