i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
