lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
