I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
