if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
