wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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