U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize