You're completely useless in the revolution.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize