we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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