1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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