i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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