That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
