this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
