it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
