a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
