dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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