Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
