stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
