I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
