he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
