I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
