This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
