We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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