Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
