I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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