question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's blow job season.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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