I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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