Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
