I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
