Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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