I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
