so that wasnt chicken after all
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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