my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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