chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
