I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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