I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
