Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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