We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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