I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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