But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize