I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
