It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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